1 00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:05,333 Chay: I'M DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF. 2 00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:08,833 IF I GAIN ANY MORE WEIGHT, IT'S A DEATH SENTENCE. 3 00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:15,567 Man: I AM LIVING A NIGHTMARE. 4 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:19,367 I WOULDN'T WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY. 5 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:22,767 Woman: I HATE THIS LIFE THAT I HAVE. 6 00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:34,033 DON'T YOU DARE PUT IT ALL OFF ON ME! 7 00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:36,000 LISTEN, SHE IS GOING TO DIE. 8 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,167 BOTH OF Y'ALL, STOP! JUST STOP! 9 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,933 Dr. Nowzaradan: WE GOT TO CORRECT THIS PROBLEM. 10 00:00:44,033 --> 00:00:47,567 OTHERWISE, SURGERY WOULD NOT BE USEFUL FOR YOU. 11 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,133 [ Voice breaking ] I CAN'T DO THIS 12 00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:52,233 WITHOUT SOMEBODY TO HELP ME SAY NO. 13 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,267 Chay: WE'RE REALLY DEVASTATED RIGHT NOW. 14 00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,867 WITH MY GRANDMA GONE, 15 00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,167 I JUST DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS. 16 00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:05,833 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 17 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,533 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 18 00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:11,533 YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT HOW THINGS WILL GO. 19 00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:14,500 BUT THE MORE YOU RUN FROM THE PAST, 20 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,233 THE HARDER IT IS TO FACE THE PRESENT. 21 00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:40,300 I HATE MY LIFE. 22 00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,600 I'M SO MISERABLE. 23 00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:53,200 I HURT ALL THE TIME. 24 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:58,667 I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN. MY CHEST IS TIGHT. 25 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:01,933 I CAN'T HARDLY BREATHE. 26 00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:06,200 DAY-TO-DAY ACTIVITIES ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE WORK. 27 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,133 IT'S SO EXHAUSTING TO DO ANYTHING. 28 00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:11,633 I GET VERY AGGRAVATED WITH MYSELF, 29 00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:12,833 BECAUSE I THINK, 30 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,733 "HOW COULD YOU LET IT GET THIS FAR?" 31 00:02:14,833 --> 00:02:19,500 EVEN TAKING A SHOWER IS TOO DIFFICULT. 32 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,500 I HAVE TO HAVE A SCRUBBER ON A HANDLE TO REACH EVERYTHING, 33 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,067 BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T HAVE THAT, 34 00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:26,167 I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WASH EVERYTHING. 35 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:28,967 I WOULDN'T GET CLEAN ALL THE WAY. 36 00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:37,933 I'M 23 YEARS OLD, 37 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:41,300 AND I CAN HARDLY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF ANYMORE. 38 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,533 AND THAT SCARES ME. 39 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:50,867 HOW ARE YOU? 40 00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:54,567 I LIVE WITH MY GRANDPARENTS TO TAKE CARE OF MY GRANDMOTHER. 41 00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:02,667 SHE DEPENDS ON ME, 42 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:05,133 AND I NEED TO BE THERE FOR HER. 43 00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:06,667 Chay: SO, YOU FEEL LIKE BREAKFAST? 44 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,900 YEAH, I'M GETTING KIND OF HUNGRY. 45 00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:13,333 GETS EVER -- OOH! 46 00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:15,133 GOT IT? 47 00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:16,633 YEAH. 48 00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:20,833 Verda: MY GRANDSON -- HE TAKES CARE OF ME, 49 00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:25,400 BUT IT'S JUST A HARD, HARD STRUGGLE FOR HIM. 50 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:29,100 HE'S GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING. 51 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:33,833 Chay: I'M HUNGRY. 52 00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:37,167 I DON'T KNOW WHY I WOKE UP SO HUNGRY TODAY. 53 00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:39,900 I'VE ALWAYS LOVED FOOD. 54 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,300 AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER, 55 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,367 FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME. 56 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,733 CHAY EATS TOO MUCH, AND PRETTY GOOD-SIZED PORTIONS. 57 00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:55,300 AND WE EAT A LOT OF FRIED FOODS. 58 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,300 Chay: FOOD IS MY COMFORT BLANKET. 59 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,400 WHEN I EAT FOOD, I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT 60 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,100 IF I'M HURTING OR IF I'M STRESSED OUT. 61 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,633 I CAN JUST THINK ABOUT THE FOOD. 62 00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:14,933 I'VE ALWAYS LOVED FOOD. 63 00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:18,200 I HAD A VERY DARK CHILDHOOD. 64 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,467 MY MOM AND MY STEPDAD -- THEY WOULD GET DRUNK, 65 00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:24,933 AND THEY WOULD TAKE THEIR FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON ME. 66 00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:27,133 MY MOTHER TOLD ME THE ONLY REASON I WAS BORN 67 00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:29,033 WAS BECAUSE THE CONDOM BROKE. 68 00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:33,767 THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS, 69 00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:37,300 LIKE I SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN. 70 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,767 I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY NIGHTS I PRAYED TO GOD 71 00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:41,267 AND ASKED HIM JUST TO TAKE ME. 72 00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:46,133 I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T BELONG. I FELT LIKE I WAS A BURDEN. 73 00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:49,567 BUT WHEN I WAS EATING, I WASN'T HURTING. 74 00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:53,067 Rona: CHAY WAS CHUNKY WHEN HE WAS LITTLE, 75 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:56,333 BUT, I MEAN, EVEN FIRST GRADE, YOU COULD SEE, YOU KNOW, 76 00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:59,733 HE WAS BIGGER THAN THE NORM. 77 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:04,600 Chay: I HAVE A LOT OF PAIN AND ANGER TOWARDS MY MOM. 78 00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:10,767 EVERYTHING SHE DID MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE ME. 79 00:05:10,867 --> 00:05:12,233 HE TOLD ME, YOU KNOW, "YOU KNOW, MOM, 80 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:13,967 I HATE IT, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WOULD DO THIS," 81 00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:15,600 OR, "MOM, I HATE IT WHEN YOU WOULD DRINK," 82 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,700 BECAUSE I WOULD DRINK EVERY DAY. 83 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:24,067 Chay: SHE USED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL TO COPE WITH HER ISSUES, 84 00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:27,300 AND WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, MY MOTHER WAS ARRESTED. 85 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,967 THAT'S WHEN I CAME TO LIVE 86 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,333 WITH MY GRANDPARENTS PERMANENTLY. 87 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,400 Verda: I TOLD HIM, "JUST COME STAY WITH ME." 88 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:37,800 WE WERE JUST GONNA FORGET THIS. 89 00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:39,333 IF I COULD DO IT OVER, 90 00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:42,100 I WOULD HAVE TOOK HIM WHEN HE WAS BORN. 91 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,167 [ SNIFFLES ] 92 00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:45,467 I WOULD HAVE QUIT MY JOB AND RAISED HIM, 93 00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,933 AND I'D HAVE TOOK HIM WHEN HE WAS BORN. 94 00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:50,933 Jed: YOU KNOW, WITH HIS MOM GONE A LOT, 95 00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:53,167 HE WAS ABLE TO DO WHAT HE WANTED TO DO. 96 00:05:53,267 --> 00:05:55,467 HE WAS ABLE TO EAT WHAT HE WANTED TO EAT. 97 00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:58,967 AND WHEN HE MOVED IN WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER, 98 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,333 SHE WOULD JUST LET HIM HAVE WHAT HE WANTED, 99 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,067 AND I THINK THAT'S WHEN 100 00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:07,267 HE REALLY STARTED GAINING MORE WEIGHT EVEN. 101 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,667 Chay: FOOD WAS MY COMFORT. 102 00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:12,867 IT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE ME FEEL BETTER. 103 00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:15,200 IT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE 104 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,500 EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. 105 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,567 AND 10 POUNDS HERE LEADS TO 20 POUNDS, 106 00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:21,000 IT LEADS TO 40 POUNDS, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, 107 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:25,300 GEEZ LOUISE, YOU'RE 600 POUNDS. 108 00:06:29,033 --> 00:06:31,000 I'M AFRAID IN THREE OR FOUR MONTHS, 109 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,600 I'LL BE SO BIG THAT I CAN'T GO OUT ANYMORE. 110 00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:35,533 YES. 111 00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:37,833 OKAY. I'M GONE. 112 00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:42,600 I HARDLY GO OUT AS IT IS, 113 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:46,467 BECAUSE I CAN JUST BARELY FIT BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR. 114 00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,000 [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] 115 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:51,400 I JUST HATE GOING OUT. 116 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,567 GOING OUT IN PUBLIC MAKES ME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. 117 00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:58,233 THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO HAVE SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WITH PEOPLE 118 00:06:58,333 --> 00:06:59,433 MAKES ME NERVOUS 119 00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:03,033 'CAUSE I NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GONNA SAY. 120 00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:11,100 MY WEIGHT DEFINITELY MAKES ME A TARGET. 121 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,133 PEOPLE ARE VERY CRUEL. 122 00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:16,933 I DEFINITELY HEAR THE SNICKERS. 123 00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:21,333 ALL EYES ARE ALWAYS ON ME, AND NOT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. 124 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:26,233 BUT I WAS HURT SO MUCH AS A CHILD 125 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,333 THAT I'VE JUST BUILT UP SUCH A TOUGH, THICK SKIN, 126 00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:33,467 AND PEOPLE'S COMMENTS DON'T REALLY AFFECT ME. 127 00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:35,933 [ VOCALIZES ] 128 00:07:36,033 --> 00:07:39,167 THIS IS MY FAVORITE SECTION. IT MAKES ME HAPPY. 129 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,933 FOOD ADDICTION IS VERY DIFFICULT. 130 00:07:44,033 --> 00:07:47,767 IF YOU'RE ADDICTED TO GAMBLING, YOU DON'T GO TO CASINOS. 131 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,467 IF YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CIGARETTES, 132 00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,767 YOU DON'T HAVE TO SMOKE. 133 00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:54,300 WITH FOOD, IT'S DIFFERENT. 134 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,867 YOU'RE CONSTANTLY FACED WITH YOUR VICE. 135 00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:01,500 IT'S SO HARD TO STOP, 136 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,233 BECAUSE IT'S HOW I'VE COPED WITH THINGS ALL MY LIFE. 137 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:05,500 I'D LOVE TO SHOP MORE, 138 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,433 BUT MY FEET ARE STARTING TO HURT, 139 00:08:07,533 --> 00:08:08,833 AND I'M GETTING THE HURT SWEATS. 140 00:08:08,933 --> 00:08:10,833 AND ONLY FAT PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THE HURT SWEATS ARE. 141 00:08:10,933 --> 00:08:13,800 I CAN'T BE ON MY FEET FOR TOO LONG. 142 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,200 I GET WHAT I CAN AND I GO HOME, 143 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,533 UNTIL I EAT, AND THE CRAVINGS COME BACK, 144 00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:21,567 AND THEN I GO GET SOME MORE. 145 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,800 MY GRANDPARENTS CAN'T TAKE CARE OF ME, 146 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,967 SO IF I GET TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN'T GO OUT ANYMORE, 147 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:33,367 THERE WILL BE NO ONE TO BRING ME FOOD. 148 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,133 [ GRUNTS ] 149 00:08:39,233 --> 00:08:40,400 [ SIGHS ] 150 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:45,533 AFTER ONE TRIP TO THE STORE, I'M COMPLETELY WORN OUT. 151 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:57,767 BUT THEN I HAVE TO COOK DINNER, SO I DO IT SITTING DOWN. 152 00:08:57,867 --> 00:09:00,500 I'M GONNA COOK SOME FISH FOR SUPPER. 153 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,133 CHAY'S JUST ALWAYS HURTING. 154 00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:05,867 HIS HIPS HURT, HIS LEGS HURT, HIS FEET HURT. 155 00:09:05,967 --> 00:09:07,933 HE HURTS SO BAD, POOR BABY. 156 00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:12,400 Chay: I KNOW I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW 157 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:16,100 OR IT'S GONNA GET REALLY BAD FOR ME. 158 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,400 [ SIGHS ] 159 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:23,567 I KNOW I CAN'T KEEP GOING LIKE THIS. 160 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:27,267 Verda: I THINK HIS LIFE HAS COME TO A STOP. 161 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,800 NOTHING IS GOING ON, 162 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,667 AND I THINK HE'S SHUTTING HIMSELF OFF. 163 00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,400 [ GROANS ] OH, MAN. 164 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,067 Chay: THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO DO, 165 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:38,100 BUT I CAN'T CUT MY WEIGHT. 166 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:43,767 I'M 23 YEARS OLD. 167 00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:47,067 I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE. 168 00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:48,933 OH! 169 00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,367 I SHOULDN'T BE LIVING LIKE THIS. 170 00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:55,800 IF I GAIN ANY MORE WEIGHT, IT'S A DEATH SENTENCE. 171 00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:56,933 WHAT IS MY FAMILY GONNA DO? 172 00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:58,400 THEY'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FIND 173 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,567 A COFFIN BIG ENOUGH TO BURY ME. 174 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,933 AND I KNOW IF I KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS, 175 00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:07,333 I'M NOT GONNA BE ALIVE MUCH LONGER. 176 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,367 Chay: HOUSTON IS FOUR HOURS AWAY. 177 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:36,367 YOU READY? 178 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,467 I'M AS READY AS I'LL EVER BE. 179 00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:41,167 I'M TOO BIG TO DRIVE MYSELF THAT FAR. 180 00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:43,567 IT WOULD JUST BE TOO PAINFUL. 181 00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:46,400 SO I CALLED MY AUNT AND UNCLE AND SEE IF THEY COULD TAKE ME, 182 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,600 BUT THEY AREN'T ABLE TO. 183 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:51,333 I WAS SURPRISED MY MOM SAID SHE WOULD. 184 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,867 I LOVE YOU. 185 00:10:52,967 --> 00:10:54,900 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 186 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,700 I USUALLY CAN'T RELY ON HER AT ALL, 187 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,333 SO I'M NOT SURE HOW THIS IS GONNA GO. 188 00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:03,333 HE ALREADY CAN'T FIT IN THAT CAR, 189 00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:05,500 SO THAT'S LIKE US BEING IN A BOX. 190 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:09,000 HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. HE'S GONNA TAKE IT LIKE A CHAMP. 191 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,933 Chay: IF I GET THERE AND THE DOCTOR DOESN'T HELP ME, 192 00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:18,500 I'LL BE JUST DEVASTATED. 193 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,367 I HOPE THIS TRIP ISN'T A WASTE OF TIME. 194 00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:29,800 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA TAKE TO GET THE SURGERY, 195 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,333 AND I'M SCARED I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT. 196 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,867 Woman: MR. GUILLORY, CHAY? 197 00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:52,900 [ GASPS ] WOW! 198 00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:58,233 I KNEW I WAS CLOSE TO 600 POUNDS, 199 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,233 BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THAT CLOSE. 200 00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:05,600 [ KNOCKS ] HELLO. 201 00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:06,700 HI, THERE. 202 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,633 SO, YOU'RE OVER 600 POUNDS. 203 00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:13,667 TELL ME HOW DO YOU THINK YOU GOT TO THIS POINT. 204 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,667 THE PROBLEM, 205 00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,500 ARE YOU HUNGRY ALL THE TIME OR WHAT? 206 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,067 I AM HUNGRY PRETTY OFTEN. 207 00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:21,633 I EAT LIKE TWO MEALS A DAY, 208 00:12:21,733 --> 00:12:23,900 BUT JUST, YOU KNOW, SNACKING. 209 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,633 WHAT DO YOU SNACK ON? 210 00:12:25,733 --> 00:12:27,633 POTATO CHIPS. 211 00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:28,900 I LOVE POTATOES. 212 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,467 POTATO CHIPS. OKAY. 213 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:33,133 [ LAUGHS ] POTATOES ANY KIND OF A WAY. 214 00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:34,100 ALL RIGHT. 215 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,400 SO THAT'S YOUR DOWNFALL IS POTATO. 216 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,700 YEAH. I COULD GIVE MEAT UP EASIER THAN I COULD POTATOES. 217 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,700 BUT IF IT MEANT SAVING MY LIFE, 218 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,200 THEN I'D BE WILLING TO GIVE UP POTATO CHIPS. 219 00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:48,033 WHY DON'T YOU GIVE THEM UP NOW? 220 00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,667 UM, I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 221 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:54,433 I'M CONCERNED THAT CHAY THINKS THAT WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 222 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:57,033 IS GOING TO SOLVE ALL HIS PROBLEMS. 223 00:12:57,133 --> 00:13:00,167 WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T SNACK BETWEEN YOUR MEALS? 224 00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:02,933 IF I DIDN'T SNACK BETWEEN MY MEALS, 225 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,467 I'D PROBABLY BE MORE SUCCESSFUL. 226 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:09,200 SO WHY DO YOU NEED TO SNACK BETWEEN THEM? 227 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:12,200 IT'S MORE OF AN EMOTIONAL CRUTCH. 228 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,300 HAVE YOU TRIED TO CHANGE YOUR EATING HABIT? 229 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,633 I HAVE IN THE PAST. YES, I'VE TRIED OFF AND ON. 230 00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:20,200 IT'S WHEN, LIKE, THINGS DON'T WORK 231 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,933 AND YOU GET DISCOURAGED, 232 00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,900 IT'S LIKE YOU JUST KIND OF GIVE UP. 233 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,933 SO YOU THINK GASTRIC BYPASS 234 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:29,033 WILL BE THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR YOU TO CONTROL 235 00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,533 YOUR EATING HABIT? YES, SIR. 236 00:13:30,633 --> 00:13:34,367 BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA EAT POTATO CHIPS AFTER SURGERY, 237 00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:36,133 YOU'RE NOT GONNA LOSE WEIGHT EITHER. 238 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:40,967 HE SEES THIS AS A QUICK FIX, AND THAT'S NOT GOOD. 239 00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:44,200 YOU'RE USING FOOD TO COPE WITH LIFE, 240 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:47,433 AND THAT IS A CORE ISSUE THAT YOU NEED TO ADDRESS. 241 00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:50,433 SO I WANT TO SEE YOU TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EATING 242 00:13:50,533 --> 00:13:52,300 BEFORE WE DO WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 243 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,367 I WANT YOU TO LOSE 40 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS. 244 00:13:57,467 --> 00:13:58,533 ALL RIGHT. 245 00:13:58,633 --> 00:13:59,633 SEE YOU SOON. 246 00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:02,833 SURGERY WOULD ONLY HELP IN THE SHORT TERM 247 00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:04,800 IF CHAY DOESN'T LEARN HOW TO CONTROL 248 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:06,300 HIS DEPENDENCY ON FOOD. 249 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,133 [ SIGHS ] 250 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,467 HOPEFULLY, WHEN I SEE HIM NEXT TIME, 251 00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,600 HE WILL HAVE LOST WEIGHT. 252 00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,200 IF NOT, CHAY WILL NOT GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 253 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,300 Chay: I KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE 254 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,867 A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT MY DIET 255 00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:20,867 IN ORDER FOR THIS TO BE SUCCESSFUL. 256 00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:23,233 IF I DON'T DO THIS NOW, 257 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:28,433 IF I DON'T CONVINCE HIM AND GET HIM TO BELIEVE IN ME, 258 00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:32,200 I'M AS GOOD AS DEAD AT THIS POINT. 259 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,467 Bodie: ARE YOU ABLE TO BEND YOUR KNEES? 260 00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:42,633 LIKE IN THIS TYPE OF WAY? [ LAUGHS ] 261 00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:45,067 OKAY, SO, NO. YOU CAN'T DO LUNGES AT ALL? 262 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,767 NO, NOT WITH MY BAD KNEES. 263 00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:48,133 OKAY. 264 00:14:48,233 --> 00:14:50,567 I KNOW I HAVE TO GET SERIOUS IF I'M GONNA HAVE A CHANCE 265 00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:53,633 AT LOSING 40 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS. 266 00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:56,800 MAKE SURE I'M NOT GONNA BUST THROUGH THE PANELING. 267 00:14:58,433 --> 00:15:01,033 MY COUSIN BODIE IS TRYING TO HELP ME 268 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,867 GET MORE ACTIVE SO I CAN START LOSING WEIGHT. 269 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:05,500 WE NEED TO GO JOG. WE'RE GONNA DO A BLOCK, OKAY? 270 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,333 CHAY'S GONNA WALK. YOU CAN JOG. 271 00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:09,133 WHATEVER. WALK AT A FAST PACE. 272 00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:10,233 THIS IS MY PACE. 273 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,833 NOPE. 274 00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:16,800 BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA. 275 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:19,267 I'M GONNA GIVE US FIVE MINUTES. 276 00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:21,367 THIS ISN'T A LAZY STROLL THROUGH THE PARK. 277 00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:22,867 THIS IS AS FAST AS I CAN GO. 278 00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:25,067 OH, I HEAR EXCUSES. 279 00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:26,933 I DON'T THINK MY COUSIN UNDERSTANDS 280 00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:28,367 JUST HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME. 281 00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:29,967 PUT SOME KNEE GREASE INTO IT. 282 00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,000 MY KNEE GREASE HAS ALL BEEN FRIED DOWN. 283 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:35,100 MOVING MY BODY OF 600 POUNDS -- 284 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,600 IT'S A LOT, AND IT'S EXCRUCIATING TO GO FAR. 285 00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,367 AND BACK. COME ON. 286 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:42,900 PICK UP THE PACE JUST A LITTLE BIT. 287 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,000 THE ONLY REASON I'M WILLING TO PUSH THROUGH AND DO THIS 288 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,333 IS I KNOW WHAT'S RIDING ON ME BEING SUCCESSFUL. 289 00:15:49,433 --> 00:15:51,267 BACK INSIDE! 290 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,700 I NEED TO DO THIS. 291 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,367 I WANT TO GET MY LIFE BACK. 292 00:15:56,467 --> 00:16:00,567 AND I KNOW THIS IS WHERE IT STARTS. 293 00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:03,100 BEHIND THE HEAD. TRY TO TOUCH THE OTHER SHOULDER. 294 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,767 THERE YOU GO. NOW YOU'RE FLEXING. 295 00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:06,600 SEVEN. 296 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,067 I'VE ALSO BEEN EATING BETTER. 297 00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:11,267 IT'S HARD, THOUGH. 298 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:14,567 I REALLY LIKE FOOD. 299 00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,000 A LITTLE EXTRA FLEX. 300 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,267 SO, IF I DON'T GET THIS SURGERY, 301 00:16:18,367 --> 00:16:22,200 I KNOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP DOING THIS. 302 00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,000 MY WHOLE LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS. 303 00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:37,500 I NEED TO GO TO THE STORE. YOU CAN GO TOMORROW. 304 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,000 YEAH. 305 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:42,133 I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD, 306 00:16:42,233 --> 00:16:44,433 BUT IT'S BEEN TOUGH FOR THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS. 307 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,433 MY GRANDMA HASN'T BEEN FEELING WELL, 308 00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:52,067 AND SHE'S GETTING OLDER, AND I WORRY ABOUT HER. 309 00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,900 THAT STRESSES ME OUT. 310 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,667 AND WHEN I'M STRESSED, I EAT. 311 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:02,367 Chay: I GOT FIVE LITTLE BUTTON MUSHROOMS 312 00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:03,867 STUFFED WITH CRAB MEAT, 313 00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,200 AND I GOT MINE BROILED WITH NO CLARIFIED BUTTER. 314 00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,867 I'VE MADE SOME MISTAKES 315 00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:10,733 AND EATEN SOME THINGS I SHOULDN'T HAVE. 316 00:17:10,833 --> 00:17:14,200 FOOD IS WHAT I'VE KNOWN. 317 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,833 IT'S WHAT COMFORTED ME. 318 00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:18,967 SO IT'S HARD NOT TO TRY AND GET THAT COMFORT. 319 00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:21,867 Verda: I WANT THIS REALLY BAD FOR HIM. 320 00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:23,033 HE NEEDS THIS. 321 00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:24,667 AND I THINK HE'S AT THE POINT 322 00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:27,133 WHERE HE'LL DO WHAT HE HAS TO DO TO GET IT. 323 00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:29,000 Chay: MY GRANDMA HAS BEEN 324 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:33,233 MY BIGGEST SUPPORTER FOR LOSING WEIGHT, 325 00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:37,233 SO I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN TO DO THIS. 326 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:41,467 I DON'T WANT TO LET HER DOWN. 327 00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:10,300 I'M REALLY DEVASTATED RIGHT NOW. 328 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,033 MY GRANDMA SUFFERED A HEART ATTACK, 329 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,967 AND THERE WAS NOTHING ANYBODY COULD DO ABOUT IT. 330 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:27,367 I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S GONE. 331 00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:30,500 IT DOESN'T FEEL REAL RIGHT NOW. 332 00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,700 LET ME PRAY. 333 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,100 FATHER, WE THANK YOU FOR HER LIFE, 334 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,833 THANK YOU FOR HER FAMILY. 335 00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:46,900 GOD, MAY WE ALL LEARN FROM HER. 336 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,233 AND WE PRAY IT IN JESUS' NAME. 337 00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:49,267 AMEN. 338 00:18:49,367 --> 00:18:51,167 CHAY. 339 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:57,300 Chay: WE COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER GRANDMOTHER. 340 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,800 SHE WILL BE SO GREATLY MISSED BY ALL WHO KNEW HER. 341 00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,400 THERE HAS NEVER BEEN 342 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:05,267 A MORE LOVING, KIND, AND COMPASSIONATE WOMAN. 343 00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:09,300 OUR HEARTS ARE BROKEN AND OUR SOULS FULL OF SORROW. 344 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:14,033 WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, DUKE, FROM HERE TO THE MOON AND BACK. 345 00:19:16,233 --> 00:19:20,133 MY GRANDMA WAS MY INSPIRATION. 346 00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,533 IT'S HARD TO PICTURE GOING FORWARD 347 00:19:22,633 --> 00:19:24,167 AND HER NOT BEING THERE. 348 00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:28,000 SHE WAS A BIG PART OF WHY I WAS TRYING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT. 349 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,267 NOW THAT SHE'S GONE, 350 00:19:30,367 --> 00:19:33,167 I JUST DON'T THINK THAT I CAN DO IT. 351 00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:36,900 Man: GOD BLESS YOU. THIS WILL CONCLUDE OUR SERVICE. 352 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,500 Chay: I'M JUST SO LOST RIGHT NOW, 353 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,500 AND FOOD IS MY COMFORT. 354 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:49,067 I WANT TO EAT SO BAD RIGHT NOW. 355 00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:55,633 Cindy: I THINK CHAY'S GONNA FALL APART. 356 00:19:55,733 --> 00:19:57,333 MAMA WAS LIKE CHAY'S MAMA. 357 00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:59,967 WHEN HE CALLED ME, HE COULDN'T EVEN SPEAK, 358 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,767 AND HE JUST COULD NOT TALK. 359 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:07,500 Chay: I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO STOP. 360 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,000 I'M DONE TRYING. 361 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:12,333 I'M DONE WITH ALL OF IT. 362 00:20:12,433 --> 00:20:16,000 THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW TO DO IT. 363 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,767 Chay: RUNNING FROM THE DARKNESS OF YOUR PAST 364 00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:31,067 WILL CAST A GREAT SHADOW OVER THE LIGHT OF THE PRESENT. 365 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:58,533 THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST MONTH OF MY LIFE. 366 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,567 MY GRANDMA WAS A BIG PART OF MY WORLD. 367 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,900 NOW THAT SHE'S GONE, 368 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,933 I JUST DON'T HAVE MUCH DRIVE TO TRY AND DO A LOT. 369 00:21:13,033 --> 00:21:16,433 [ Voice breaking ] I JUST WANTED TO HAVE HER A LONG TIME. 370 00:21:16,533 --> 00:21:19,667 23 YEARS WASN'T LONG ENOUGH. 371 00:21:19,767 --> 00:21:24,933 I WANTED HER TO SEE ME GRADUATE COLLEGE 372 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:28,467 AND ACHIEVE SO MANY THINGS. 373 00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:31,333 I WANTED HER TO BE THERE WITH ME. 374 00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:36,167 BUT NOW ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MEMORIES. 375 00:21:39,267 --> 00:21:43,000 FOOD IS THE ONLY THING BRINGING ME 376 00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:46,133 ANY SORT OF COMFORT RIGHT NOW, 377 00:21:46,233 --> 00:21:48,600 SO I'M NOT ABOUT TO GIVE THAT UP. 378 00:21:52,633 --> 00:21:57,933 NO ONE BELIEVED IN ME LIKE MY GRANDMA DID. 379 00:21:58,033 --> 00:22:00,867 SHE CHEERED ME ON, AND SHE'S GONE NOW. 380 00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:06,700 I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT HER, 381 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,667 AND I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT. 382 00:22:10,767 --> 00:22:14,567 I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO STOP. 383 00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:31,067 MY AUNT AND UNCLE HAVE BEEN CALLING ME. 384 00:22:31,167 --> 00:22:32,333 THEY'VE BEEN TELLING ME 385 00:22:32,433 --> 00:22:34,333 HOW MY GRANDMA WOULD HAVE WANTED ME 386 00:22:34,433 --> 00:22:36,433 TO KEEP TRYING AND TO GET HEALTHY. 387 00:22:40,467 --> 00:22:44,067 I KNOW SHE WOULDN'T WANT ME TO GIVE UP, 388 00:22:44,167 --> 00:22:48,333 BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER. 389 00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:49,500 IT'S BEEN NICE HAVING 390 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,467 SOME ENCOURAGEMENT FROM MY AUNT AND UNCLE. 391 00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:55,300 SO I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BUY SOME HEALTHIER STUFF. 392 00:22:58,133 --> 00:23:00,367 I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT TO GET. 393 00:23:00,467 --> 00:23:05,100 I'M JUST TRYING TO RESIST TEMPTATION. 394 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,667 IT'S JUST REALLY HARD -- 395 00:23:06,767 --> 00:23:08,900 A LOT HARDER THAN I EVER THOUGHT. 396 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,333 I JUST HOPE I CAN DO IT. 397 00:23:16,967 --> 00:23:19,400 I'M GOING TO SEE MY AUNT AND UNCLE SOON. 398 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:20,933 THEY SAID THEY'LL HELP ME 399 00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:24,067 AND THEY'LL TAKE ME TO THE DOCTOR IF I GO BACK. 400 00:23:24,167 --> 00:23:25,933 HI, THERE. 401 00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:30,033 I'M GONNA TRY MY BEST OVER THE NEXT MONTH. 402 00:23:30,133 --> 00:23:34,900 BUT THIS IS GONNA BE TOUGHER THAN I EVER IMAGINED. 403 00:23:51,133 --> 00:23:53,200 Jed: OH, LOOK AT THEM ONION RINGS. 404 00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:55,200 THAT'S A BRACELET. [ LAUGHS ] 405 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,400 THANK YOU. 406 00:23:57,500 --> 00:23:59,133 Man: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN GRAB FOR YOU GUYS? 407 00:23:59,233 --> 00:24:01,967 Chay: IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD TO STICK TO EATING HEALTHY, 408 00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,700 BUT I'VE BEEN LEARNING TO SAY NO. 409 00:24:07,267 --> 00:24:08,833 NOT ALL THE TIME, 410 00:24:08,933 --> 00:24:12,333 BUT HOPEFULLY ENOUGH TO LOSE WEIGHT. 411 00:24:15,967 --> 00:24:18,267 I'M SO THANKFUL THAT MY AUNT AND UNCLE 412 00:24:18,367 --> 00:24:21,500 HAVE BEEN SUPPORTING ME SO MUCH TO DO THIS. 413 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,933 IT'S MEANT A LOT TO ME TO HAVE THEM THERE. 414 00:24:25,033 --> 00:24:26,700 Rona: WE'RE TRYING TO HELP HIM STAY STRONG. 415 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,967 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO SEE HIM SUCCEED. 416 00:24:30,067 --> 00:24:31,433 YOU GUYS ENJOY. 417 00:24:31,533 --> 00:24:33,600 THANK YOU. 418 00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:37,667 Chay: I JUST WANT TO MAKE EVERYONE PROUD. 419 00:24:40,033 --> 00:24:42,367 [ LAUGHS ] 420 00:24:42,467 --> 00:24:44,267 Jed: HE DID GOOD. 421 00:24:44,367 --> 00:24:47,333 HE ENDED UP JUST ORDERING A STEAK, PROTEIN. 422 00:24:47,433 --> 00:24:50,833 HE DIDN'T ORDER A DESSERT, SO HE DID GOOD. 423 00:24:50,933 --> 00:24:53,733 Chay: I SEE THE DOCTOR VERY SOON, 424 00:24:53,833 --> 00:24:57,533 AND I FIND OUT IF I'M GOING TO GET THE SURGERY 425 00:24:57,633 --> 00:25:00,433 OR IF I'M JUST HOPELESS. 426 00:25:06,633 --> 00:25:08,267 [ KNOCK AT DOOR ] 427 00:25:08,367 --> 00:25:10,267 COME IN. 428 00:25:10,367 --> 00:25:11,500 HEY. HEY. 429 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,100 SO, HOW YOU DOING? 430 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,833 OH, JUST PACKING UP. 431 00:25:14,933 --> 00:25:17,833 Chay: TODAY, WE'RE HEADED BACK TO HOUSTON 432 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,900 TO SEE THE DOCTOR AGAIN. 433 00:25:22,667 --> 00:25:26,067 I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW 434 00:25:26,167 --> 00:25:27,833 TO FIND OUT HOW I'VE DONE 435 00:25:27,933 --> 00:25:30,367 AND WHETHER I'M GETTING THE SURGERY. 436 00:25:30,467 --> 00:25:32,667 I HAVE BEEN TRYING. 437 00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:36,000 BUT SATURDAYS IS MY CHEAT DAY. 438 00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:39,400 I EAT A MEAL I WOULDN'T NORMALLY EAT DURING THE WEEK. 439 00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:42,033 LIKE IF I'M JONESING FOR A HAMBURGER -- 440 00:25:42,133 --> 00:25:43,467 YOU CHEAT JUST ONE MEAL, OR...? 441 00:25:43,567 --> 00:25:45,000 PRETTY MUCH, YEAH, JUST ONE MEAL. 442 00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:49,167 OR IF I WANT SOME ICE CREAM, I'LL EAT SOME ICE CREAM. 443 00:25:49,267 --> 00:25:51,600 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT 444 00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:53,933 EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, YOU END UP BINGEING. 445 00:25:56,167 --> 00:25:57,967 AND WE ARE HERE. 446 00:26:02,367 --> 00:26:03,833 [ SIGHS ] 447 00:26:03,933 --> 00:26:04,933 YEAH. 448 00:26:05,033 --> 00:26:06,633 IF I FAIL AT THIS, 449 00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:10,900 IT WILL BE ONE OF THE WORST FAILURES OF MY LIFE. 450 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:17,367 EVERYTHING IS DEPENDING ON WHAT THE SCALE SAYS RIGHT NOW. 451 00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:47,400 Chay: I'M REALLY NERVOUS TO FIND OUT HOW I'VE DONE. 452 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,700 I'VE HARDLY LOST. 453 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:55,133 [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 454 00:26:55,233 --> 00:26:57,533 I THOUGHT I HAD DONE SO MUCH BETTER. 455 00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:03,600 HELLO. 456 00:27:03,700 --> 00:27:05,000 HI, THERE. 457 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:06,267 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 458 00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:08,667 SO, IT'S BEEN FIVE MONTHS, 459 00:27:08,767 --> 00:27:10,767 AND YOU HAVE LOST ALMOST NO WEIGHT. 460 00:27:10,867 --> 00:27:12,200 WHY IS THAT? 461 00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:15,700 I MEAN, I JUST TRIED TO STICK TO THE DIET AS BEST AS POSSIBLE, 462 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,467 EATING RIGHT. 463 00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:19,000 THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL. 464 00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:21,933 THE REALITY IS THAT YOU'RE EATING TOO MUCH, 465 00:27:22,033 --> 00:27:22,933 PLAIN AND SIMPLE. 466 00:27:23,033 --> 00:27:24,633 WELL, I'VE BEEN EATING LOW-CARB. 467 00:27:24,733 --> 00:27:26,667 I EVEN STARTED MAKING MY OWN WHEAT BREAD 468 00:27:26,767 --> 00:27:28,600 SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO EAT WHITE BREAD. 469 00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:32,267 OKAY, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, WHEAT BREAD AND WHITE BREAD 470 00:27:32,367 --> 00:27:34,133 HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF CALORIES. 471 00:27:34,233 --> 00:27:35,433 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 472 00:27:35,533 --> 00:27:39,433 CHAY'S NOT AT A PLACE TO CONTROL HIS EATING HABIT. 473 00:27:39,533 --> 00:27:42,100 THIS IS WHAT I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT. 474 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,200 AND THAT MEANS HE'S JUST NOT READY FOR SURGERY. 475 00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:47,333 YOU'RE NOT TAKING IT SERIOUS. 476 00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:48,533 YES, I AM. 477 00:27:48,633 --> 00:27:50,300 THIS IS NOT GONNA BE EASY ON YOU. 478 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,467 EVEN IF YOU GET THE SURGERY, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY. 479 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:53,833 I KNOW IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY. 480 00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:56,033 I KNOW THAT. YOU'RE JUST UPSET. 481 00:27:56,133 --> 00:28:01,100 CLEARLY, THE PROBLEM ISN'T JUST A PHYSICAL PROBLEM. 482 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,867 MY GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY VERY SUDDENLY, 483 00:28:02,967 --> 00:28:07,233 AND THEN, SO MY EATING IS FOR EMOTIONAL REASONS, TOO. 484 00:28:07,333 --> 00:28:11,400 CHAY, LIFE IS FULL OF STRESS, AND LOSING SOMEONE IS HORRIBLE. 485 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:14,867 BUT THERE IS NO EXCUSE GOOD ENOUGH 486 00:28:14,967 --> 00:28:16,433 TO LIVE LIKE YOU ARE. 487 00:28:16,533 --> 00:28:19,233 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE. 488 00:28:19,333 --> 00:28:24,233 HE'S USING STRESS AND EMOTION AS AN EXCUSE TO EAT. 489 00:28:24,333 --> 00:28:26,933 EVERYONE HAS THESE THINGS IN THEIR LIFE. 490 00:28:27,033 --> 00:28:30,400 YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DEAL WITH THEM IN A HEALTHY WAY. 491 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:34,000 CHAY, I WANT YOU TO LOSE AT LEAST 30 POUNDS 492 00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:35,833 OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS. 493 00:28:35,933 --> 00:28:38,267 AND I'M GOING TO SEND YOU TO A THERAPIST 494 00:28:38,367 --> 00:28:40,100 TO HELP YOU WITH THIS, OKAY? 495 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,367 ALL RIGHT? WE'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER. 496 00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:43,600 THANK YOU. OKAY. 497 00:28:45,133 --> 00:28:46,567 I WASTED MY TIME IS WHAT I DID. 498 00:28:46,667 --> 00:28:48,600 NO, YOU DIDN'T. YOU'RE JUST DISAPPOINTED. 499 00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:50,400 THAT'S ALL. YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED -- 500 00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:51,767 I'M AGGRAVATED IS WHAT I AM. 501 00:28:51,867 --> 00:28:53,100 WELL, ARE YOU GONNA GIVE UP? 502 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,833 I'M NOT COMING BACK. NO, YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP. 503 00:28:55,933 --> 00:28:57,233 WHATEVER. 504 00:28:57,333 --> 00:29:01,900 Chay: THE DOCTOR DOESN'T GET HOW HARD THIS ALL HAS BEEN. 505 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:06,900 IF I WORKED THAT HARD FOR THAT LITTLE RESULT, 506 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,267 MAYBE IT JUST ISN'T WORTH IT. 507 00:29:09,367 --> 00:29:12,433 MAYBE I'M JUST NOT MADE TO DO THIS. 508 00:29:35,367 --> 00:29:37,233 I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO EXPECT. 509 00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:41,600 I'M HOPING THIS THERAPIST CAN HELP ME. 510 00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:44,167 I KNOW FOOD IS STILL MY COMFORT, 511 00:29:44,267 --> 00:29:47,233 AND THAT I HAVE TO BREAK FREE OF THAT. 512 00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:50,567 I FEEL LIKE NOTHING I DO WILL HELP WITH THE CRAVINGS, 513 00:29:50,667 --> 00:29:53,833 AND IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I GIVE IN. 514 00:29:53,933 --> 00:29:55,000 HI, THERE. Chay: HI, THERE. 515 00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:56,633 HI, CHAY, I'M STEPHANIE. NICE TO MEET YOU. 516 00:29:56,733 --> 00:29:57,800 NICE TO MEET YOU. 517 00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:00,433 COME ON BACK. OKAY. 518 00:30:00,533 --> 00:30:03,900 WHAT WOULD BE KIND OF LIKE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING 519 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,800 THAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IN THE TIME THAT WE HAVE TODAY? 520 00:30:07,900 --> 00:30:09,133 AS A CHILD, 521 00:30:09,233 --> 00:30:12,067 I GREW UP IN A VERY EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD. 522 00:30:12,167 --> 00:30:13,067 OH, WOW. 523 00:30:13,167 --> 00:30:15,167 I MEAN, I HAD A MOTHER 524 00:30:15,267 --> 00:30:17,233 WHO WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND A DRUG ADDICT. 525 00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:19,367 I HAD A STEPFATHER WHO WAS AN ALCOHOLIC. 526 00:30:19,467 --> 00:30:21,167 AND SO MY GRANDMOTHER RAISED ME. 527 00:30:21,267 --> 00:30:22,333 OH, WOW. OKAY. 528 00:30:22,433 --> 00:30:24,233 AND SHE WAS MORE MY MOTHER THAN MY GRANDMOTHER. 529 00:30:24,333 --> 00:30:26,233 IN DECEMBER, MY GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY. 530 00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:27,300 OH, WOW. I'M SORRY. 531 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,900 YOU GUYS WERE VERY CLOSE. YES. 532 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,267 AND I REPLAY THE NIGHT SHE DIED, 533 00:30:31,367 --> 00:30:32,733 'CAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO CALLED 911. 534 00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:35,000 AND, YOU KNOW, I DROVE MY GRANDPA TO THE HOSPITAL, 535 00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:37,633 AND THAT'S WHERE WE FOUND OUT SHE PASSED AWAY. 536 00:30:37,733 --> 00:30:40,067 I LAY IN BED, AND THOSE SCENES REPLAY IN MY MIND. 537 00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:41,200 OKAY. 538 00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:44,833 SO I JUST BOTTLE IT UP, AND THEN I EAT. 539 00:30:44,933 --> 00:30:46,833 YOU'VE MADE A REALLY HUGE DECISION 540 00:30:46,933 --> 00:30:48,867 TO ADDRESS SOME THINGS PHYSICALLY. 541 00:30:48,967 --> 00:30:49,967 AND AS YOU DO THAT, 542 00:30:50,067 --> 00:30:52,167 IT'S GONNA BRING UP STUFF EMOTIONALLY. 543 00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:54,933 AND WE'VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE, ONE, 544 00:30:55,033 --> 00:30:56,567 WHAT ARE THOSE EMOTIONS? 545 00:30:56,667 --> 00:30:58,267 WHAT ARE THE EMOTIONS I'M FEELING? 546 00:30:58,367 --> 00:31:00,867 BUT, THEN, IT'S WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE EMOTIONS? 547 00:31:00,967 --> 00:31:02,067 ANXIETY, TENSION BUILDS. 548 00:31:02,167 --> 00:31:04,333 I KIND OF HAVE MY DRUG OR BEHAVIOR OF CHOICE, 549 00:31:04,433 --> 00:31:05,900 WHICH IN THIS CASE IS EATING. 550 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,200 THE IMPORTANT THING TO RECOGNIZE 551 00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:09,033 IS THAT THE FEELINGS ARE GONNA GO SOMEWHERE. 552 00:31:09,133 --> 00:31:11,567 YOU SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT YOU'RE FEELING 553 00:31:11,667 --> 00:31:13,133 AND THEN LET IT OUT. I'M TRYING 554 00:31:13,233 --> 00:31:19,133 AND WILL TAKE CONTROL OF MY HEALTH AND MY WELL-BEING. 555 00:31:19,233 --> 00:31:20,500 GOOD. 556 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:21,967 THIS IS THE FIRST STEP. 557 00:31:22,067 --> 00:31:24,433 WELL, I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN IT. 558 00:31:24,533 --> 00:31:25,500 THANK YOU. 559 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:26,800 [ LAUGHS ] 560 00:31:26,900 --> 00:31:28,667 WE SHALL SEE EACH OTHER SOON. 561 00:31:28,767 --> 00:31:30,467 OH, MOST DEFINITELY. 562 00:31:30,567 --> 00:31:32,167 BYE. 563 00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:33,500 BYE-BYE. 564 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,233 I THOUGHT FOOD WAS HELPING ME GET THROUGH ALL THE PAIN, 565 00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:40,533 BUT IT'S LIKE JUST STORING IT UP FOREVER. 566 00:31:40,633 --> 00:31:42,633 AND IF I DON'T DEAL WITH IT, 567 00:31:42,733 --> 00:31:45,900 THE CRAVINGS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE. 568 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,433 I'M GLAD I CAME TODAY. 569 00:31:47,533 --> 00:31:50,367 I KNOW I HAVE TO START DEALING WITH IT ALL. 570 00:31:50,467 --> 00:31:53,300 I HAVE TO BE ALL-IN. 571 00:32:00,867 --> 00:32:03,700 I'VE DECIDED NO MORE EXCUSES. 572 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,267 IF I'M GONNA DO THIS, I NEED TO DO IT 100%. 573 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,200 I'M GONNA FIGHT FOR THIS. 574 00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:14,700 WE'RE GONNA START WITH A SAMPLE WARM-UP. 575 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:15,767 OKAY. 576 00:32:15,867 --> 00:32:17,467 SO WE'LL GO AHEAD AND STEP UP HERE. 577 00:32:17,567 --> 00:32:19,933 THERE YOU GO. 578 00:32:20,033 --> 00:32:21,767 ALL RIGHT. 579 00:32:21,867 --> 00:32:24,333 HOW ARE YOU FEELING AT THIS POINT? 580 00:32:24,433 --> 00:32:25,533 GOOD. GOOD. 581 00:32:25,633 --> 00:32:26,800 ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA HEAD ON OVER HERE. 582 00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:29,567 WE'RE GONNA DO 15 REPS, OKAY? 583 00:32:29,667 --> 00:32:33,133 SO INHALE, EXHALE. 584 00:32:33,233 --> 00:32:35,067 YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 585 00:32:35,167 --> 00:32:37,433 [ Voice breaking ] WATCHING CHAY GOT ME EMOTIONAL. 586 00:32:37,533 --> 00:32:38,900 YOU KNOW, IT DID. 587 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,700 AND I CAN ENVISION IN THE FUTURE, 588 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,367 YOU KNOW, JUST SEEING HIM IN SHAPE. 589 00:32:44,467 --> 00:32:46,233 THERE YOU GO. PERFECT. 590 00:32:46,333 --> 00:32:47,633 WE'RE GONNA DO 15. 591 00:32:47,733 --> 00:32:50,967 I'M SEEING A CHANGE IN HIM MENTALLY ALREADY. 592 00:32:51,067 --> 00:32:52,833 FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK UP SOME STAIRS 593 00:32:52,933 --> 00:32:53,967 TO DO WHAT HE DID TODAY -- 594 00:32:54,067 --> 00:32:56,300 MAN, THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE. 595 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,900 GOOD. GOOD JOB. THERE YOU GO. 596 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,367 MAN, GOOD WORK. THANK YOU. 597 00:33:00,467 --> 00:33:02,833 THAT'S IT FOR THE DAY. OKEYDOKEY. 598 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,933 Chay: I'M READY TO TAKE MY LIFE BACK. 599 00:33:06,033 --> 00:33:07,967 I NEED TO FIGHT TO GET TO A PLACE 600 00:33:08,067 --> 00:33:10,633 WHERE I CAN GET A JOB AND GET MY OWN APARTMENT 601 00:33:10,733 --> 00:33:15,100 AND WHERE A 23-YEAR-OLD LIKE ME CAN START TO LIVE LIKE ONE. 602 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,967 I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING A LOT. 603 00:33:18,067 --> 00:33:21,633 I JUST HOPE IT'S ENOUGH TO FINALLY GET THE SURGERY. 604 00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:24,433 Jed: YOU WERE SWEATING, BUDDY. 605 00:33:30,333 --> 00:33:31,833 Woman: MR. GUILLORY. 606 00:33:31,933 --> 00:33:35,700 I'M REALLY ANXIOUS. 607 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,300 I NEED TO KNOW IF I'M GONNA GET THIS SURGERY. 608 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:43,067 MY WEIGHT HAS TO BE DOWN TO AT LEAST 550 POUNDS 609 00:33:43,167 --> 00:33:44,867 FOR HIM TO APPROVE ME, 610 00:33:44,967 --> 00:33:50,133 AND THIS MAY BE MY LAST CHANCE TO GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 611 00:34:10,533 --> 00:34:13,967 Chay: EVERYTHING IS RIDING ON THIS WEIGH-IN. 612 00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:17,800 Rona: THAT'S CRAZY. 613 00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:20,133 I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH I'VE LOST. 614 00:34:20,233 --> 00:34:23,300 I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF. 615 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:24,300 [ KNOCKS ] HELLO. 616 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,567 HI, THERE. HEY, DOCTOR. 617 00:34:25,667 --> 00:34:26,667 HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING? 618 00:34:26,767 --> 00:34:27,667 GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 619 00:34:27,767 --> 00:34:28,767 ALL RIGHT. 620 00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:31,967 I SEE YOU DID GREAT WITH YOUR WEIGHT LOSS. 621 00:34:32,067 --> 00:34:34,133 I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE READY FOR SURGERY. 622 00:34:34,233 --> 00:34:35,167 [ LAUGHTER ] 623 00:34:35,267 --> 00:34:37,300 Dr. Nowzaradan: CHAY HAS DONE WELL 624 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,200 OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS. 625 00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:41,700 HE'S NOT RUNNING TO FOOD TO DEAL WITH HIS EMOTIONS. 626 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,067 THAT'S GOOD PROGRESS. 627 00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:46,300 SO I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND SCHEDULE IT. 628 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:47,567 OKEYDOKEY. 629 00:34:47,667 --> 00:34:48,733 THANK YOU, DOCTOR. 630 00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:50,367 Rona: THANK YOU. 631 00:34:51,767 --> 00:34:54,400 [ LAUGHTER ] 632 00:34:54,500 --> 00:34:57,767 Dr. Nowzaradan: HE HAS A LONG JOURNEY AHEAD OF HIM, 633 00:34:57,867 --> 00:35:01,400 AND ALL THESE ISSUES AREN'T GOING TO GO AWAY OVERNIGHT. 634 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,933 IT WILL BE A PROCESS, 635 00:35:04,033 --> 00:35:05,767 BUT RIGHT NOW, THE IMPORTANT THING 636 00:35:05,867 --> 00:35:06,933 IS HE'S READY TO START. 637 00:35:07,033 --> 00:35:08,800 Chay: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 638 00:35:08,900 --> 00:35:12,433 I KNOW MY GRANDMA WOULD BE SO PROUD OF ME. 639 00:35:12,533 --> 00:35:14,500 I'M JUST SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW. 640 00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:32,400 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY, WE'RE DOING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 641 00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:33,767 ON CHAY. 642 00:35:33,867 --> 00:35:36,133 THERE'S ALWAYS A CONCERN 643 00:35:36,233 --> 00:35:38,167 WHEN DEALING WITH A PATIENT THIS SIZE. 644 00:35:47,067 --> 00:35:48,600 TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF. 645 00:35:52,067 --> 00:35:55,267 THIS SURGERY IS A REALLY BIG STEP FOR CHAY, 646 00:35:55,367 --> 00:35:58,300 BUT I'M SCARED THAT HE WON'T WAKE UP. 647 00:36:13,933 --> 00:36:16,267 ALL RIGHT. THAT LOOKS GOOD. 648 00:36:16,367 --> 00:36:18,800 ROOM LIGHT ON. 649 00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:21,833 CHAY'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 650 00:36:21,933 --> 00:36:25,167 HE WILL BE IN THE RECOVERY ROOM FOR A BIT. 651 00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:28,333 WE'LL GET HIM HOME, 652 00:36:28,433 --> 00:36:31,500 AND HE CAN KEEP MAKING PROGRESS FROM THERE. 653 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,167 HE SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM 654 00:36:34,267 --> 00:36:38,200 LOSING AROUND 20 POUNDS A MONTH FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS. 655 00:36:38,300 --> 00:36:42,600 THE BIG FACTOR IS GOING TO BE TO MAKE SURE 656 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:47,233 HE KEEPS DEALING WITH HIS EMOTION IN A HEALTHY WAY. 657 00:36:47,333 --> 00:36:51,233 WE HAVE TO WATCH HIM AND SEE HOW HE DOES. 658 00:37:03,333 --> 00:37:06,867 Chay: IT'S BEEN A TOUGH COUPLE OF DAYS. 659 00:37:06,967 --> 00:37:11,333 MY MOM HASN'T COME TO VISIT ME. 660 00:37:11,433 --> 00:37:14,167 I KNOW THAT I CAN'T ALWAYS COUNT ON HER, 661 00:37:14,267 --> 00:37:17,000 BUT SHE'S STILL MY MOM. 662 00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:19,567 IT'S MADE ME REALIZE 663 00:37:19,667 --> 00:37:22,433 THAT I STILL HAVEN'T DEALT WITH ALL THE PAIN AND THE HURT 664 00:37:22,533 --> 00:37:23,433 I HAVE FROM HER. 665 00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:27,900 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. 666 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,667 I WANT TO RUN TO FOOD RIGHT NOW, 667 00:37:30,767 --> 00:37:34,067 BUT I CAN'T. 668 00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:36,433 Chay: OKAY. 669 00:37:36,533 --> 00:37:39,400 I THOUGHT THIS SURGERY WAS GONNA FIX ME. 670 00:37:44,867 --> 00:37:45,767 I ASKED THE DOCTOR 671 00:37:45,867 --> 00:37:48,100 IF THE THERAPIST COULD COME SEE ME TODAY. 672 00:37:49,367 --> 00:37:51,733 I HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT. 673 00:37:51,833 --> 00:37:53,033 HI, CHAY. HI, THERE. 674 00:37:53,133 --> 00:37:54,233 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 675 00:37:54,333 --> 00:37:55,167 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 676 00:37:55,267 --> 00:37:56,567 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 677 00:37:56,667 --> 00:37:58,867 I'M FEELING OKAY. A LITTLE PAIN HERE AND THERE. 678 00:37:58,967 --> 00:37:59,867 OKAY. 679 00:37:59,967 --> 00:38:01,133 SO, EMOTIONALLY, 680 00:38:01,233 --> 00:38:03,633 WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT? 681 00:38:03,733 --> 00:38:05,033 I KNOW PART OF MY PROBLEM 682 00:38:05,133 --> 00:38:06,900 IS I DON'T REALLY TRUST ANYONE FULLY. 683 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:07,900 OKAY. 684 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,167 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, MY WHOLE LIFE, 685 00:38:09,267 --> 00:38:11,433 I WAS ALWAYS LET DOWN BY SOMEONE, 686 00:38:11,533 --> 00:38:12,500 MOSTLY MY MOM. 687 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,733 'CAUSE AS A KID, YOU KNOW AND UNDERSTAND 688 00:38:14,833 --> 00:38:18,467 THAT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TRUST YOUR MOM NO MATTER WHAT. 689 00:38:18,567 --> 00:38:19,667 I DIDN'T HAVE THAT. 690 00:38:19,767 --> 00:38:22,100 MY ENCOURAGEMENT IS YOU NEED TO OPEN UP 691 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,533 AND TALK TO YOUR MOTHER 692 00:38:23,633 --> 00:38:25,900 AND THEN BE ABLE TO SAY WHAT YOU FEEL. 693 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,167 THAT'S WHERE YOU START IN ACCEPTING THIS IS HOW I FEEL. 694 00:38:29,267 --> 00:38:31,367 AND THAT'S OKAY. I DON'T NEED TO HIDE THAT. 695 00:38:31,467 --> 00:38:33,467 I'M SAD AND I'M HURTING AND I'M STRESSED. 696 00:38:33,567 --> 00:38:35,567 I REALIZE I'M TEMPTED TO PURSUE FOOD HERE, 697 00:38:35,667 --> 00:38:36,533 BUT I CAN BE SAD, 698 00:38:36,633 --> 00:38:38,300 AND I CAN BE APPROPRIATELY STRESSED 699 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,300 AND NOT MAKE THAT CHOICE. 700 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,233 DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? IT DOES. 701 00:38:42,333 --> 00:38:44,567 'CAUSE YOUR MOTHER'S BEEN SO NEGATIVE. 702 00:38:44,667 --> 00:38:46,967 YOU KNOW, SO YOU NEED TO WORK THROUGH YOUR GRIEF WITH HER 703 00:38:47,067 --> 00:38:48,833 AND CONTINUE TO MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES FOR YOURSELF. 704 00:38:48,933 --> 00:38:51,467 YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE TRUST THING, 705 00:38:51,567 --> 00:38:54,367 I THINK YOU'RE DOING PRETTY GOOD JUST BEING ABLE TO OPEN UP. 706 00:38:54,467 --> 00:38:56,733 WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE A FIRST STEP SOMEWHERE. 707 00:38:56,833 --> 00:38:58,467 YEAH. I THINK YOU HAVE. [ LAUGHS ] 708 00:38:58,567 --> 00:39:01,000 THANK YOU FOR TODAY. 709 00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:02,867 ALL RIGHT, YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 710 00:39:02,967 --> 00:39:04,233 THANK YOU. OKAY. BYE-BYE. 711 00:39:04,333 --> 00:39:05,733 IT WAS GOOD SEEING YOU. BYE. 712 00:39:05,833 --> 00:39:08,000 THE PAIN FROM MY MOM HAS DRIVEN ME MORE TO FOOD 713 00:39:08,100 --> 00:39:09,833 THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE, 714 00:39:09,933 --> 00:39:13,467 SO I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO LET IT GO. 715 00:39:13,567 --> 00:39:17,233 I HAVE TO TALK TO HER ABOUT HOW SHE'S HURT ME. 716 00:39:17,333 --> 00:39:20,067 I HOPE IT GOES WELL. 717 00:39:20,167 --> 00:39:23,000 I JUST DON'T WANT THINGS TO GET WORSE. 718 00:39:52,300 --> 00:39:55,367 Chay: NO MATTER WHAT, I KNOW I HAVE TO DO THIS. 719 00:39:55,467 --> 00:39:59,633 I AT LEAST HAVE TO START THE PROCESS RIGHT NOW. 720 00:39:59,733 --> 00:40:03,000 I JUST HOPE THIS GOES WELL. 721 00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:06,633 Chay: OH, YOU KNOW, I'M GRATEFUL YOU CAME. 722 00:40:06,733 --> 00:40:08,067 IT MEANS A LOT. 723 00:40:08,167 --> 00:40:10,000 I WAS UPSET BECAUSE I COULDN'T GO FOR THE SURGERY, 724 00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:12,067 BUT, I MEAN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW I WANTED TO BE THERE. 725 00:40:12,167 --> 00:40:15,033 THERE'S BEEN TIMES WHERE I COULDN'T EXACTLY COUNT ON YOU. 726 00:40:15,133 --> 00:40:18,033 YOU WOULD BE GOOD FOR A WHILE AND THEN BAD FOR A WHILE. 727 00:40:18,133 --> 00:40:20,133 YEAH, BECAUSE I'M AN ADDICT. 728 00:40:20,233 --> 00:40:23,133 REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD ME, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WAS LITTLE, 729 00:40:23,233 --> 00:40:25,233 I SAID, "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WANT TO GO TO YOUR MAMA?" 730 00:40:25,333 --> 00:40:27,633 AND YOU SAID, "BECAUSE I'M SAFE WITH MY MAMA," 731 00:40:27,733 --> 00:40:29,000 AND I REGRET THAT. 732 00:40:29,100 --> 00:40:30,233 WELL, I DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST YOU. 733 00:40:30,333 --> 00:40:31,733 I HAVE COME TO THE PLACE 734 00:40:31,833 --> 00:40:34,767 WHERE I REALIZE THAT FORGIVENESS ISN'T FOR THE OTHER PERSON. 735 00:40:34,867 --> 00:40:35,900 IT'S FOR YOURSELF. 736 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,833 I DON'T HATE IT. THAT DOESN'T DO US NO GOOD. 737 00:40:38,933 --> 00:40:41,967 WELL, SEE, NOW THAT I AIN'T DOING ALL THAT BAD STUFF, 738 00:40:42,067 --> 00:40:43,433 SEE, NOW I CAN COME DOWN 739 00:40:43,533 --> 00:40:45,767 AND CHECK ON YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOU. 740 00:40:45,867 --> 00:40:46,933 YEAH, I LIKE THAT. 741 00:40:47,033 --> 00:40:48,033 I LIKE THAT, TOO. 742 00:40:48,133 --> 00:40:49,733 I LOVE YOU, AND I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 743 00:40:49,833 --> 00:40:51,700 I LOVE YOU, TOO. I'M GLAD TO BE HERE WITH YOU. 744 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,133 HEARING MY MOM 745 00:40:53,233 --> 00:40:55,367 SAY THAT SHE COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER AS A MOM, 746 00:40:55,467 --> 00:40:57,900 YOU KNOW, MADE ME FEEL GOOD, 747 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,533 BECAUSE I FINALLY FEEL LIKE SHE'S HEARD WHAT I'M SAYING 748 00:41:00,633 --> 00:41:02,767 AND THAT MY VOICE IS FINALLY BEING RECEIVED. 749 00:41:02,867 --> 00:41:05,600 Cindy: MY BIGGEST REGRET IS MY DRINKING. 750 00:41:05,700 --> 00:41:07,700 I'M JUST GONNA BUY HIM ALL THE JUNK 751 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,700 SO HE CAN SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV AND NOT BOTHER ME 752 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:10,867 WHILE I WAS OUTSIDE DRINKING. 753 00:41:10,967 --> 00:41:12,600 BUT THAT WAS MY DOING. 754 00:41:12,700 --> 00:41:14,967 I CAN'T FIX THE PAST, BUT I CAN FIX THE FUTURE. 755 00:41:15,067 --> 00:41:18,967 Chay: I'M VERY THANKFUL I DID THIS TODAY. 756 00:41:19,067 --> 00:41:20,933 THE PAIN ISN'T ALL GONE, 757 00:41:21,033 --> 00:41:25,300 BUT I THINK I'M IN A PLACE WHERE I CAN START TO HEAL. 758 00:41:30,367 --> 00:41:31,900 Woman: GOOD. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 759 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:32,833 I'M GREAT. 760 00:41:32,933 --> 00:41:35,433 FOOD IS STILL TEMPTING AT TIMES, 761 00:41:35,533 --> 00:41:37,967 BUT I'VE BEEN RESISTING PRETTY WELL. 762 00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:41,200 WHOO! GOOD JOB. 763 00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:42,633 Chay: THE CRAVINGS ARE STILL THERE, 764 00:41:42,733 --> 00:41:44,567 BUT THEY AREN'T AS BAD. 765 00:41:44,667 --> 00:41:45,600 Rona: HEY! 766 00:41:45,700 --> 00:41:46,967 CHAY, YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY. 767 00:41:47,067 --> 00:41:49,200 YOU'RE DOING VERY GOOD. I'M PROUD OF YOU. 768 00:41:49,300 --> 00:41:52,400 I'M HOPING THAT IT WILL GET BETTER 769 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:55,500 AS I DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS MORE AND MORE. 770 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,667 FOR THE FIRST TIME, 771 00:41:56,767 --> 00:41:59,467 I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING TO GET MY LIFE ON TRACK. 772 00:41:59,567 --> 00:42:02,300 I REALLY LIKE THIS PLACE. 773 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,433 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A PLACE OF MY OWN. 774 00:42:04,533 --> 00:42:06,533 I COULD TOTALLY SEE MYSELF LIVING HERE. 775 00:42:06,633 --> 00:42:09,000 I NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO IMAGINE 776 00:42:09,100 --> 00:42:12,933 HOW LIBERATING THIS HAS BEEN AND HOW MUCH HOPE I HAVE NOW. 777 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:18,100 I CONTINUE GETTING CLOSER TO MY MOM. 778 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,033 I'M JUST THANKFUL FOR HOW THINGS ARE NOW. 779 00:42:20,133 --> 00:42:22,500 SINCE 'CAUSE I ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM. 780 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,867 NOW MY FUTURE IS WIDE-OPEN. 781 00:42:25,967 --> 00:42:28,633 I'M HAPPY I'M GETTING MY LIFE BACK, 782 00:42:28,733 --> 00:42:32,000 AND I KNOW MY GRANDMA IS HAPPY FOR ME, TOO.